Tuesday, August 4, 2020

I Know What You've Been Doing!

   When one of my children was maybe 3 years old, we were in the checkout line at the grocery store.
   He looked at the very pregnant woman standing behind us in line, pointed at her baby bump and said rather loudly, "I know what you've been doing"

   The pregnant lady in line got a little red of face, and I may have also. The lady running the register just kinda looked shocked and disgusted that a child so young would be aware of such 'grown-up' information.
  I apologized for his behavior, then I very calmly and quietly told him that it was rude to point at people and talk about them.
  He said "Okay,  But I know what she's been doing!!!"  Louder and more emphatically. pointing at the ladies stomach again.  Again I apologized to the lady and tried to ignore the look on the cashiers face that looked like she was ready to call child protective services because my child was obviously abused if he knew what a pregnant woman had been doing while I again told him that it was rude to do things like that . . . . . Especially in public. . . . .  And at such a high volume.
  The cashier is giving me death glares as she tells me the total and I pay and get my change. 

  As I start moving away from the checkout stand, having loaded my groceries in the cart, my child once again points at the pregnant woman's belly and says

 "But Daddy, I know what she's been doing. She's been eating Cheetos!"

   I looked at the woman's belly and notice the telltale orange residue from wiping her hands on her shirt. And I started laughing. The cashier looks, and her death glare changes to a look of acknowledgement that my child was right as she starts laughing.
   The pregnant woman looks down at her shirt and tries to brush away the orange residue as she gets redder and starts laughing. She laughed so hard she suddenly stopped and said, "Damnit!"

  I looked at her, apologized again for my son's behavior, and as I walked away I thought:

 " I know what you just did

   To this day, whenever I see a pregnant woman, I think to myself "I know what you've been doing"
   
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Wednesday, July 29, 2020

So Confusing

   So. The Federal Government decided to pass masking decisions to the State Governments.  
   Some of the State Governments made mask mandates and ordinances. 
   Some State Governments passed the decision down to the Local Governments.
   And everything went to hell. 

   A police chief in Arkansas sent a letter to the governor saying he wouldn't enforce the Governor's mask mandate. 
    Some of the Local Governments have made mask mandates and ordinances.
   People where local governments made mandates are claiming that it should be the Governors decision or made at a national level.
   
   I'm gonna tell ya this. I wear a mask when I go in the store. Heck, I wear a mask when I go through the drive-thru at McDonald's.
      Lord, have I learned a lot about masks on the past few months. 
   You may or may not know these facts, but I'm fixing to let you in on what I've learned:
   I've also noticed that some of the people that stated they wouldn't wear a mask unless they were forced to, have the most problems with wearing a mask since it's mandated some places. They have creatively interesting reasons for not wearing masks: my response to each of those arguments is in italics.
1. The virus isn't a bad as they say it is. They're inflating numbers to make it look like more people are infected than really are.
   If they're inflating numbers to make it look like more people are infected, then the numbers of recovered cases will be inflated when their recuperation period has completed.
2. Nobody else is wearing their mask right,
   If everybody else jumps off a bridge, are you going to do it too? Don't be such a sheep (or lemming as the case may be), be a leader and wear your mask right.
3. Wearing a mask violates my constitutional right.  
   The Preamble of the Constitution has a phrase that says the Constitution is to , among other things, promote the general welfare. If wearing a mask can help slow the spread or reduce your viral load (which improves your chances of survival) then wearing a mask is not violating your rights.
4. I don't want to wear a mask and you can't make me. 
   You're an adult, act like one.
5. Masks are uncomfortable.
   Breathing tubes and catheters are uncomfortable. Masks are a minor irritation in comparison.
6. Masks don't prevent the Coronavirus, it says so on the box.
   The company doesn't want people who wear their masks to sue them if they catch the Coronavirus by some other means.
7. OSHA says don't wear masks.
   OSHA says wear masks in contaminated or potentially contaminated environments.
8. The CDC says don't wear masks.
   The CDC has changed that, they do recommend wearing masks.
9. I can't breathe wearing a mask.
   See your doctor about that. You have a medical issue. 
10. I have a medical issue that prevents me from wearing a mask and HIPPA rules prevent me from telling you what it is.
  It's HIPAA and that doesn't apply. I 
11. Masks don't filter anything out.
   A screen is going to catch something when the air passes through it.
12. Masks reduce your oxygen levels.
   So masks can't filter anything out except oxygen? Coronavirus can go right through the mask, but the instant you put one on you start starving your brain for oxygen.
13. Wearing masks is destroying your immune system. 
   Masks that don't filter out anything (#10) actually are filtering out oxygen and germs other than the Coronavirus? It must filter them out, otherwise it wouldn't be destroying our immune systems. 
14. Masks don't keep you from spreading the Coronavirus. Cause they don't filter anything coming out(see #11)
   But the tests they've shown many places show the opposite.
15. Masks cause a buildup of carbon dioxide.
   Wait. Masks let everything that you breathe out go right through the mask(#14). Except carbon dioxide.

   I've heard all these excuses given. The one about HIPPA was offered to me unsolicited at the doctors office. He even spelled it out for me. I corrected his spelling for him and told him it didn't apply. He didn't appreciate it. When he got up to go to the bathroom, his wife apologized for her husband and said he was a dumbass. I suggested that might be considered a disability that would prevent mask wearing.... He wanted to know why she was laughing when he came back.

   The second day our local mask ordinance went into effect I was in Wal-Mart. in front of me was a little white haired lady. There was a guy walking the other direction wearing his mask around his neck. Evidently she looked at him wrong about the way he was wearing his mask. He pointed to the mask around his neck and said loudly to her that he WAS wearing his mask, She sweetly said "I feel sorry for your wife....if you can't wear a mask right, there's probably other things you can't do right."

  
  At that point I violated the mask ordinance. 
   I pulled mine down so I could laugh at him.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2020

HOW DARE THEY?!?!?!!!!

I can't BELIEVE they'd do this!

THIS is an OUTRAGE!

What about the Children?

   If you don't know what I'm talking about. It's football. The governor has declared that there can be no contact practice until August 29 for High School and Jr High..

   My children don't play football, so I'm not too concerned.
   For those people whose children do play football, I'd like to offer some advice.
   Take your child. Put a mask on them. Put their football clothes on them. Put their football hats on them. Contact 10 of their friends. Those friends should also put on masks and football clothes and football hats. They should get them a football and go to a football field and protest for their right to score football points.
   They should march down the field protestong for their right to score football points!
   But they need to beware. Counterprotesters will show up. Ideally, they will be wearing masks and wearing football clothes and football hats. 
   The counterprotesters will try to keep then from scoring football points. 
   They'll even go so far as to take the ball away.
   This is where it'll get weird.
  The counterprotesters will now be protesting for THEIR right to score football points. And the ones that were protesting will turn into counterprotesters.
   There will then appear some people that will try to mediate the protests. They will probably try to organize the protesters and counterprotesters by the colors of their football clothes.
   Ideally, there needs to be a time limit on the protesting and counterprotesting. 
   I don't know, maybe I'm just being silly. 

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Sunday, June 21, 2020

Happy Father's Day

   I'm not really a father. At least not biologically. According to the papers I am a father.
   But I am a Dad. Not necessarily a good one. I'm sure I do okay, sometimes.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

   But I haven't killed any of them. Yet.
    But I have thought about it. Maybe. A few times.
   When Yvette and I got married almost 21 years ago. I thought I was ready to handle being a Dad. 
   After all this time, I'm starting to think that maybe I'm almost ready to be a Dad. 
   Honestly, I had no idea how much of my life as a parent would be spent having ab-so-freaking-lute-ly no idea what the Heck is going on. 
   I wonder what just happened and if I ask what happened the explanation makes no sense.
   I'm beginning too understand why my dad just nodded. A LOT. There's a LOT of nodding involved in being a dad. That. And umm-hmm. I find myself doing that a lot. It's noncommittal and can't be held against me. Basically, they think I'm agreeing. But I'm really just hoping that whatever I was just asked about isn't illegal, immoral, or liable to cause permanent injury or scarring (either physically or emotionally)
   So this is my 20th Father's Day as a father. 
I like what my kids got me. I didn't get a tie or socks or underwear. I could always use socks and underwear. But I rarely wear a tie.
   I've got these children. I love them. They love me sometimes. Sometimes they don't. I can deal with that. If they always loved me, I'd probably be doing something wrong.
   
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Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Totally made up

We send out an intrepid young journalist (IYJ) to interview a person on the street at a protest.

IYJ: how do you feel about #BlackLivesMatter?
Person 1: All Lives Matter.
IYJ:  I guess they do, dont they.
Person 1: yup, sure do
IYJ: I notice your not wearing a mask.
Person 1: yeah, that Coronavirus is all fake anyhow. The government got no right telling people how to live.
IYJ: oh, okay. Does that mean you're pro-choice?
Person 1: hell, no. Planned Parenthood is a buncha murderers. They all oughta be taken out and shot.
IYJ: is that why you are carrying a rifle?"
Person 1: is it's not an automatic weapon. It's a semi automatic. It'll fire 30 rounds, fast as I can pull the trigger. I got 
2 magazine's taped together so I can just flip it over and fire 30 more.
IYJ: So, are you carrying the gun to protect your business?
Person 1: Naw. When I heard they were bussing people in for this protest, I grabbed my gun and my ammo and drove 3 hours to get here.
IYJ: 3 HOURS?
Person 1: yeah, I figured it was my patriotic duty to come stop the looters. You know how those people from out of town cause trouble.
IYJ: 3 hours away.
Person 1: yes. Hey, if they start looting, you better duck. I wouldn't want to shoot you by accident.
IYJ: I'll keep that in mind. 
Person 1: you always had that twitchy thing going on with your face?
IYJ: I think it just started. 
Person 1: you might want to get that checked out, all lives matter
IYJ: uh, yeah.


Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Inconvenience

   That's what this is. Well, sorta. It is inconvenient to travel and get the medical treatment or diagnoses. But it will inform the doctor (and me, it will inform me).
   2 months ago, I was here for a CT scan. And something bothered me. So I said something. And 1 thing got fixed. Now I'm back again. And some of the same things are still bothering me.
   See, that bugs me. It shouldn't, but it does. If they can't spell inconveniece right, can I trust them for their medical diagnosis? 
  In reality, I am aware that the people doing the medical treatment are not the ones responsible for the signage. But they all work for the same folks.
   It's an annoyance. I might be a little OCD. Or maybe I'm a lot OCD. But after I've SEEN something, I can't UN-SEE it. It's like my eyes will be unavoidably drawn to the thing that wasn't right anytime I go near it.
   But I was there for a PET scan. And then they added the annoyance of having misspelled words on their sign.
Grrr.
I am not posting this when I wrote it. I'll post it after I do my other post. So y'all will know what the PET Scan said before you find out about this.
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Monday, June 8, 2020

The ß¡ŤĆĦ ain't back!

   Sorry for the language. But I'm glad.

   The Dr said they're are going to see me again in 3 months. I have some SUV, but it's low enough that they're not worried about it. 
   Yesterday was Cancer Survivor Day. I wanted to celebrate. I could have celebrated. But I had a very unshakeable feeling that today I would get news that I was going to have to go through some type of treatment to remain a survivor.
   I'm not worried. I've done this before. I can handle this. I have a super support team. And hopefully I'd have a plan to take care of it, if there was an it, quickly so I can go on with my life. 
   A plan that would allow me to take care of my other medical problems *cough* Baker's cyst *cough*
   That's the one causing me pain right now. I've put off going to the Dr about that because I didn't want to cause treatment for that to interfere with treatment for this. If treatment for this was necessary.
   I've been worried about this for a while. Well, at least a couple of months now. Ever since I had swollen lymph nodes in my neck in April.
   I've not been scared. I've not really been worried. I've just been resigned. And maybe depressed?
  We're living in tumultuous times. At least I am. Personal stuff. COVID-19 stuff. #BLM stuff. And the #BLM stuff is personal stuff. You know, my wife and kids kind of personal stuff. 
   
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Tuesday, May 26, 2020

50/50


   That's what the Dr said the odds are that what I went through 2 years ago, I may be having to go through again.
   I haven't been this excited since my cat had kittens and my dog had fleas. 🙄  If I gotta go through it again, I'll go through it again.
   I'm not excited about the prospects. But  it is what it is. And I'll find out what's going on next week and the week after. 
   There is one thing I'm kinda worried about though. Ya see, the last time I had to go through treatment, I'd wear a mask when I went out sometimes. Especially right after my chemo. The doctors said it would help prevent me getting an infection that could have set back my treatment. 
   Now we got this here Coronavirus crap going around and a whole bunch of folks  think wearing a mask is silly or that you're giving in to liberal media fear mongering.
Some folks really like that phrase. They keep repeating it over and over. Like a bunch of sheep bleating. 
   I have seen a report that says masks do not provide any deterrent to the spread of the virus. There are some numbers if you follow the link in the report. The way it reads, they swabbed the outside of the masks and found the Coronavirus. And thus deduced that masks didn't reduce the spread of the virus. I'd really need Bob Trejo to double check my thinking, but if there is virus left on the mask after you cough through it, didn't it reduce the virus that entered the environment?
   But I digress, I don't know what the results are going to be from my doctor visit and my PET scan next week. And those results or lack thereof will determine the course of treatment. 
   I hope they don't have to cut my head ¼ off the way off. Again. 
  I also hope if I'm out wearing a mask that someone doesn't make a disparaging remark, cause I might be forced to inform them their information is coming from a non peer reviewed source using non sufficient data on a study that doesn't contain enough replications (none) to get a red ribbon in a 4th grade science fair. 
    I'll find out a little Monday, June 1.
My PET Scan is June 5 and my doctor appointment is June 8 to get my results. 
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Saturday, May 16, 2020

Dear Zeke,

   I remember the first time I met you. I had tears in my eyes the first time I held you. Evidently I was allergic to the lotion Yvette had put on in you or something.  Or maybe it was all the people getting off the plane congratulating me on my new child. 
  I had already seen a picture of you. Your mom had sent me
a link to your photoshoot. There may have been a few times I questioned if you were really mine or not. 
   Then you'd do something and your mom would say you were definitely my child.
   But as you got older you displayed an
amazing love of animals and a  talent for creativity. Sometimes (at least once) you were even a model child. I don't remember whose belt you used for the snake. But it was pretty amazing to see.
   You've done a lot of growing up through
the years. And you still have more to do in the future. Maybe not in height, but growing into maturity. Making decisions. You'll make some good ones, you'll make some bad ones. I hope how we've raised you leads you to make more good than bad.
   At some point last night, Possibly while we were waiting for the graduation to start, Possibly while watching
you walk out onto that field, Possibly while watching you walk across the stage, Possibly while watching you walk back to your seat with your diploma in your hand. I don't remember exactly when. I might have felt a tear come to my eye. Not necessarily because you were graduating. It might have been the pollen in the air triggering my allergies.
   Or maybe it was when the realization struck me. You had just GRADUATED! 

And it'll be 13 years before Brayden graduates!
😥 
   Zeke, I love you and always want the best for you in your life. Get an education, keep drawing and never forget what a wise person once said to me:
  "If you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life"
   Maybe it won't take you as long to figure out what that means as it did me.
Love,
Dad

P.S. Graduations are the only time you'll hear most parents shout "that's my boy!"
While their sons are wearing a dress.
🎓






   


Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Really Random Assortment

   Random Thoughts.
   That's the name of the blog. Cause that's what I have. Sometimes I will have a random thought that can be expounded upon to great lengths.
   And sometimes  the random thoughts are just random thoughts without much substance.
   Things like: I hate moles. They are one of the most vile creatures just under the face of the earth. If you read this last year, you might have seen my pictures of my flowers. They were quite beautiful (I think). I had planted hundreds of bulbs. Hyacinths, daffodils, narcissus, and tulips. This year, half my tulips from last year didn't return. The bulbs are gone. The moles ate on them, so they didn't come up this year. I'm going to do something to get rid of the moles this year.
   


You may have seen the pictures of my buttocks where the dog bit me. This is
the dog that did the biting. She wasn't trying to bite me. I just got in the way. She didn't have any ill intentions towards me. I was just between her and the dog she was fighting  with. Nothing personal. I just got in the way.
   






   I'm sitting in the waiting room for my CT scan. Wearing my mask.
And this person came in. My mask saw her mask, thought it was a cat, started barking  and chased it up a tree. 





   If laughter is the best medicine, I hope I just cured what ails you. If it made you laugh, or even just brought a smile to your face, pass it on, share it, whatever. Lord knows we need something to brighten or days.



Monday, March 30, 2020

Let's Face It

   This is a facemask. It is made out of cloth. It won't prevent the Coronavirus from getting to me. The virus is so small it can pass through the weave of the fabric. But it can improve my odds of keeping it away if I'm exposed to someone who has the virus. It helps in 2 ways. There are 3 layers of fabric between me and the rest of the world. 4 where the nose and tongue are. 
   It also protects me because when people see me wearing a mask, they practice social distancing. Some of them even give me more than the recommended 6 feet of space. If I cough or fake a sneeze, they'll give me a good 20 feet. I ain't going out in public much anyway. The drive-thru at McDonald's is pretty much it.


   This is my other mask. I made it first. It's a manly mask. It has burlap on the outside. People will give me social distance when I wear it. They look like at me like I want them to give me their wallet. Nobody has offered me their wallet, but I think they'd probably give it to me if I asked.
   The top mask is the one I'm going to wear to my scan and my Dr appointment. I've always heard laughter is the best medicine. I may not cause anyone to laugh, but I'm pretty sure I'll bring a smile to someone's face. 
   Oh, just in case you thought you'd get away without seeing it:
Dog bite 
This was 14 days after the bite. The bruise was going away more I'm left with a lump. It's not really painful unless I put pressure on it, especially around the sides. It's between the size of an orange and a  grapefruit. Well if you cut them in half. And stuck half of it under the skin of your buttocks. Although I'm not sure why you'd want to do that. It's really not that great if a feeling.



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Monday, March 16, 2020

Dog Bitten

   This is not the dog that bit me but he is worried about my dog bite. I think he's worried. He always looks worried. I think he looks worried. It's hard to tell. If he had bitten me it probably wouldn't look like it does now. I think it's healing well, but I'm not sure. Matter of fact, I'm sitting in the doctors office waiting on a check-up.
   So I'll just dive right in and go ahead and show you. There is definitely a change from
8 days after dog bite
9 days after dog bite
Day 8 to Day 9 
The lump in the middle of the bite seems to be getting less bruised looking and the edges of the bruise are seeming to fade some. It's even fading some on the front of the bruise. That part that spread around my hip 
   Even to the point of
my hip. It's starting to fade some. So that's good too. I'll longer you know what the doctor says in a little bit. They're always busy on Monday seeing people that didn't want to run to the E.R. over the weekend.
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Sunday, March 15, 2020

Coronavirus

 
That is a picture of a Coronavirus. It's not a picture of my bruise. I thought I'd give you a break from that. If you put it on a chain and attached it to a stick, it looks kinda like a weapon called the mace. 
   Coronavirus has been in the news a lot lately. Some people were saying it was being blown out of proportion by the news media. 
   Wednesday night, the President addresses it. Then Friday, some emergency proclamations were issued. I haven't heard the people who were saying it was being blown out of proportion commenting on that. They may be out trying to find toilet paper???
   I don't have the Coronavirus. I don't know anybody who has the Coronavirus. I don't know anybody who wants the Coronavirus. But I know some people that definitely don't need to be exposed to it. And some of them are my relatives. The person that just finished chemotherapy whose immune status is probably at its lowest it'll ever be. Coronavirus could kill them.
6 days after dog bite
   I changed my mind. This is 144 hours (6 days after the dog bite), the lump is still there and the bruise is still spreading around my body. I'll update some more later tonight or possibly tomorrow.

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Wednesday, March 11, 2020

There's a Bright Spot

 
 Heaven, I'm in Heaven. My heart beats so that I can hardly speak....
   Oh, hi there. I was just singing while I was waiting on you to show up. Today's 
5 days after dog bite
Wednesday. Last night I had my wife take a picture and I just want to say, it's looking a lot better. So it was 5 days after the dog bite. It's looking better, the bruise is starting to fade in the middle. 

   


   It is still spreading around my hip. And since it's Wednesday,
Cheek to cheek
hump day if you will, I'll let you do a comparison. I can see the lump from the bite on the bruised side. And I can see just a little of the bruised side on the picture taken from the non-bitten side. 

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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

That's . . . . . Strange

   At least I think it's strange. Or maybe it's weird, it could be that it's perfectly normal. I don't know.
   Last night I got my wife to take a picture of my dog
96 hours after dog bite

bitten rear. I looked
at it. Then I looked again. Then I looked a 3rd time. And maybe a 4th time too. Then I asked Yvette if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. She said I was. Do you see it? I'll give you a second to think about it. 
   Wait, I'll highlight it for you. I've circled it with a yellow highlighter.
Dog bite bruise
The bruise jumped to the other buttock. Like Evil Knievel jumping over a line of buses. And cleared it. Honestly, it's the strangest bruise I've had. Evah.

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Monday, March 9, 2020

In Case You Wondered

   I'm sure the thought has been bothering you all day. How was Nelson's bruise last night?
   Well, it seems to be dissipating nicely. At last if dissipating means it's still spreading.
The knot isn't quite as
72 hours after dog bite
big as it was. But it's still kinda painful if it's touched. Okay, maybe real painful. You know when you open.the screen door and catch it with your hip while you open the interior door. 

   That's not a good idea. And you get reminded of that if you happen to catch the screen door with your hip.
   I do want to point one thing out before I
See the dog bite
leave this post today. The bruise is not exactly even. There are 2 spots where the bruise is not colorful. Where the teeth where, isn't bruised. That's what is kinda weird. At least to me is weird. I'm not really sure.

   The dog  didn't mean to bite me. I don't think she meant to. She better not have.

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Sunday, March 8, 2020

That'll Bite You in the Butt

   The dog. That is. She's never bitten anyone before that I recall. Not intentionally. Maybe snapped at someone for trying to take her food. Or a bone. 
   So I'm not mad at her. Somebody else told me that the animals around themwere agitated at almost the exact same time.
   I realized that I only showed you the after effects yesterday. So I should have started at the beginning. This is ½ hour after it happened. It was already bruising up nicely, don't you think?
½ hour after dog bite



  It was already feeling like a knot, so I knew it was going to make a really impressive bruise. And it has lived up to my expectations.
   Saturday night, about 8:30, I got Yvette to take a picture. It is
48 hours after dog bite
moving along nicely. And the Dr said it would look worse before it looked better. She knew what she was talking about for sure. But she usually does. She's a bright woman.

   It's not the worst bruise I've ever had on my butt. Sadly. I got kicked by a steer once that went from the middle of my thigh up to around my kidney.
  But that's enough for today, I'll share more soon. I'm sure.

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