I Have a Confession

This is really long, sorry.
  I'm not the man I used to be.
   Outwardly, I still look pretty much the same. But inside, I've changed.

   That's where they took off the tip of my tongue. They also took little bits from my throat and the base of my tongue to biopsy.
   The spot on my tongue that they biopsied, that's where they said the cancer is.
   Then July 12 they extricated a  mass from my neck. 

   That's a little more obvious from the outside, at least if you're on the correct side and looking for it. I don't know how big the mass was but I could definitely tell it was there before they took it out.

   They cut an incision about 5 or 6 inches long to remove it. And had to do some cutting inside my neck to remove it from around my tendons and arteries and whatever.

   That's a pain in the neck. Literally and figuratively. And that's led to another pain in the neck.

   Opiods. Pain killers. That thing the legislators are saying is a problem in our country. Its an epidemic.

   The doctor wrote me a months prescription for them. She wrote on the prescription that I had a diagnosis of cancer. Cause that's what they have to do to allow you to get a months supply. You have to have a diagnosis on the prescription to permit the pharmacies to dispense a months supply.

   The pharmacy submitted it, the insurance company denied it. The pharmacy person I talked to said the insurance says there is a limit of a 5 day supply unless it's for a chronic condition. I can get them, the cost would just be about 40 times what the copay would be if the insurance approved it. It must be preauthorized by the insurance company. 

   I called the insurance company, and was told that if the doctor wrote on the prescription that I had a diagnosis of cancer written on the prescription, it should be automatically pre-approved. I talked to the doctor on Tuesday, the day they were supposed to take out my drain and told her what the insurance person and the pharmacy person had told me. She said I'll write you 4 prescriptions for a 3 day supply. And she wrote me one for 5 days.

   I had gotten one 3 day prescription filled the day I came home after the surgery. This is the 4th day after they sent me home. I had 3 pills left. I had managed that by not taking them until I got to the point where I couldn't stand it any longer. 

 I drop off the 5 day prescription Wednesday.(5 days after I was discharged) And get told the pharmacy won't fill it because it exceeds what I'm allowed to have. (Huh?) So I give them a 3 day one on Thursday (6 days after I was discharged) The pharmacy can fill that, but the insurance won't cover it. They said I don't have preauthorization and since I've already filled a prescription for this same medication in the past month. I have to pay full price. I pay the price. I finally get the prescription picked up and I take one of the pain pills. 15 hours after I took the last one. 

  That's aapain in the neck. REALLY.

   So insurance won't cover the prescription that was written the way the pharmacy person told me they had to be written to be covered.
   They called the pharmacist over. He explained that what happens if they submit it to the insurance company and it gets rejected then the doctor is notified. I had submitted the original prescription before I talked to the doctor and they didn't say anything about having a preauthorization request. I DID ask if they had submitted a preauthorization request to the doctor. He said he thought so. 
   Evidently they can't check and see if one was submitted or not because he thinks the system does it automatically. But he's not sure.
   I came home and called the insurance company again. This time I got a much more helpful person to talk to. He explained what form the doctor needs to submit, what information the pharmacy needs to submit.
  So now I know the proper form that the Doctors office needs. I call them and leave a message telling them the proper form. They'll call me back. It's Friday (7 days after they released me from the hospital) 
While I'm  waiting to hear back from the doctor, I have an appointment to get the drain removed. After the drain is removed, 6 hours have passed and they haven't called back, I call and leave another message. Including the name of the form they need to download and the address of the website they need to download it from.
   I call the insurance company Saturday. (8 days after I was released) No, they haven't sent in a form. They did last Friday ( the day after my surgery) but it was the wrong form and the insurance company says they sent a fax letting the Doctor know it was the wrong form. Hmmm.
Monday, (10 days after they sent me home from the hospital) the Doctors office calls me! They tell me they've called the insurance company and the insurance company is going to fax them the correct form. I offer to give them the web address with the correct form. No, they don't need me to give them the address. 
   Tuesday (11 days after I was sent home) I call and am told by the insurance company that the Doctors office faxed them a form. But it wasn't the correct form. I call the Doctors office at 9 AM and have to leave a message. I call again at 3 PM and leave a message. I got another 3 day prescription, paying full price.
   I call the insurance company Wednesday morning. (12 days after I was released from the hospital) They say they haven't received a fax. I call the Dr office around 11AM and leave a message.
  Thursday morning, (13 days) I call the insurance company and find out that the Dr office has sent a form that is under review, but they can't tell me what the form is, since it is under review and it wasn't entered in as to what the form was.
  Friday morning. I call the insurance company while I'm on the way to have my pet put in. The port where they're going to be administering the chemotherapy that's going to help wipe out my cancer. They insurance company has approved the form! I can get the amount of drugs my doctor prescribed! 
   I've managed to make it 14 days since they sent me home from the hospital by getting 3 - 3 day prescriptions filled. The pharmacy wouldn't fill a 5 day prescription because it was more than the law allows according to them although the way the law reads, I should have been able to get a 5 day supply. 
   I managed to go that long by not taking a pill until it reached the point that my body was hurting enough that I couldn't stand it any longer.  
   I think that the lawmakers had very good intentions. And if people who have been abusing the drugs have as a hard of a time getting prescriptions filled as I did, it may help wipe out some of the opiod problem. 
  Here is why I need these drugs.

As always, thank you for reading, thank you for your prayers, and pray for the people who are having to put up with me during my treatment. 😁

   

Bad News - Good News

   Wednesday we had an appointment with the oncologist and the radiologist. 
   The bad news, they told me that the cure rate is 2 out of 3. I will have radiation 5 times a week for 7 weeks. I will have chemotherapy 3 times. The treatments I'm going to undergo will make me sick. Like don't want to eat, don't want to drink, don't want to whatever sick. That I will lose the hair on my neck, forever. And I may lose my braid, forever. And I'm going to have to drink a lot of water.
   The good news is, they told me the cure rate is 2 out of 3. That's not 3 out of 3, but it's better than 1 out of 3
   The treatment I'm going to undergo may cause me to lose weight. Not the way I should lose weight, but as long as my blood levels test good, that's okay. I'm going to get a port put in Friday. I will have my first chemotherapy treatment on August 1. My first radiation treatment will be August 6. I think what the radiologist said was after they finish the treatments they will wait 5 weeks and put me through another PET scan to see if they wiped out the cancer. If there's any left, I think he said they might do another surgery and go through treatments again.
   So if you get a chance, if you could say a prayer for me July 27, August 1, and August 6 I would really appreciate it.
   Oh other good news. They made me a Knight Helmet. Custom made they put the mesh on me and then pressed it to my face. I started laughingl because when they were pressing it in my eye sockets it feltf funny. And the best part is when I get through, I get to keep it. (I'm going to spray paint it silver) It's made to make me have my head and neck in the same position every time I get radiation. That way they're always shooting at the cancer. And not shooting me in the eye or the nose or the ear.
   You might want to send up a prayer for the people who have to deal with me throughout my treatments. Like the poor girl who answered the phone and said she was Valerie Pharmacy Technician. I said it was great that she got that job, because it would have been bad if she was named Valerie Pharmacy Technician and be working as a checker in a grocery store. She laughed for a minute and a half. Every time she would stop and try to ask me what I needed, she'd start laughing again.
   So keep praying.
   And God Bless everyone that has helped us or prayed for us or texted or called or brought food or donated to the GoFundMe.

I Love You All!
   

   

Emoji Day

😞💩😠

Well #€££

   So today we went to Memphis, supposedly to get the drain taken out of my neck. Which is, by the way, a pain in the neck.

   2 hours. Get there, fill out paperwork, go in a room, wait.........

   Umm, you've still got a lot of drainage so we're going to need to leave it in until Friday.  So we'll schedule a time for you to come in Friday to get that taken out.

   Can you get us a doctor in Dyersburg?That'd be really great. 

   Doctor asked if Dyersburg was closer to us than Memphis. 10 minutes is a lot closer than 2 hours.

   And then the news I didn't want to hear. Next Wednesday I go to Jackson for my first radiology appointment. But it's not just radiology. I'm going to be having chemotherapy. 

   One of the reasons I wanted surgery was that it was offered as surgery and radiating as opposed to chemotherapy and radiation.

   I think chemotherapy has advanced some since the last time I was around someone gong through it. (Gulp) at least I hope it has.

   But anyway. Later this week I get rid of this drain.

And next week I get radioactive. And get rid of these invasive cells. 

   As always, keep praying, I greatly appreciate it!!!!

Okay

  Yesterday was the big day.
  I went to the hospital and they cut into me.
Regina met us at the hospital. Thanks! And the nurse that was processing me in, Elise, was the same one that processed me in before and she got to meet Hannah, who Yvette had told her all about the last time we were there.
   They finally got me hauled off and talked to me before they took me to surgery.

   They had bright lights on.
And then. Well I don't know
They cut into me. And they took the lump it of my neck. Which was great because it was getting to be a pain in the neck.
   They didn't do anything with the spot in my tongue because they decided that it would be able to be knocked out with radiation..I guess that's good. Cause it means that I'm able to eat whatever I want.
   But they did do some cutting. And the lump in my neck is smaller. I don't know what they cut out. But Yvette said I was fighting them when I first came out of sedation so they  put me back to sleep.
   It may have been because I wanted them to take the catheter out. I know when they finally brought me to the room and I was awake I wanted the catheter out. I was trying to explain to the lady that it felt like I was passing a kidney stone. But that it was stuck between the bladder and the exit.
   Like maybe right where the catheter was. I know when they did the PET scan it showed there was a 5mm stone in my kidney. I suspect that putting me under sedation may have relaxed the muscles to allow the stone to pass until it got to the roadblock (catheter). I know it feels like there is a stone stuck there. Or maybe that's from where they pulled the catheter out.
   But anyway whatever the pain was there.
   I evidently get stupid when I'm on medication. I asked one of the nurses where she was from. TWICE. And this other nurse, her hair was the same color as her scrubs. And I commented on that. And then the one nursing person couldn't get the thermometer under my tongue. And Hannah was laughing at that.
  Yvette said this morning after they gave me my pain pill, I wouldn't shut up. I just kept going on about stuff. I know I DID tell the nurse after I went to the bathroom to pee that I was ready to go home because I had farted. She told me that I had to get released first, that the doctors hasn't cleared me to go home. My logic was that everytime Yvette had surgery, they said she couldn't go home until she had passed gas. The nurse told me that didn't apply to neck surgery. 😥
  But then they came back later and said I was cleared to go home in the next hour. Ummmmmm. Hannah is 2 hours away and she was supposed to come pick us up.
   Hannah came and got us and we finally got to get home.
   Those pain pills that I'm allowed to take every 6 hours, that's just about how long they are good for right after surgery. But I kinda feel like Frankenstein. I'll spare you the gross picture. But I will show you this:

  See, my neck doesn't stick out past my jaw now.
If you want to see the side view, you can send me a text, or message me on Facebook. Cause it looks really weird.

Let Me Think ...Hymmmmmmmm

1. I have cancer. I'm without a job. And my car won't start.
2. Those are the things that are bad in my life.
3. But then I think about the songs I grew up singing in church. And this is one of my favorites. And sometimes we need to do what the song says: 
4. Count Your Blessings!
5. Not to mention it has a fantastic repeat.
6. 
   
7. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
8. 1. I've got a wife that loves me and prays for me.
   When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
9. 1. Hannah loves me and prays for me.
   Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
10. 1. Caleb loves me and prays for me.
    And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
11. 1. Micaela loves me and prays for me.
12. Refrain:
13. Count your blessings, name them one by one,

1. Ezekiel loves and prays for me.

Count your blessings, see what God has done!

1. Zara loves and prays for me.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
1. Gabriel loves and prays for me.
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
1. Jeremiah loves and prays for me.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
1. Zayleigh prays for me. 

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

1. Brayden says Amen when they pray for me.

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

1. Reverend Jamie prays for me.

And you will keep singing as the days go by.
1. I have a church family that prays for me and had blessed me in more ways than I can count

1. Refrain:
2. Count your blessings, name them one by one,

1. I've got old friends that pray for me

Count your blessings, see what God has done!

1. I've got friends I've never met that pray for me

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
1. I've got people that don't attend church that pray for me
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
1. I've got a LOT of people praying for me.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
1. Laura Beth West,FNP recognized that my swollen lymph gland wasn't just a swollen lymph gland
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
1. She had a CT scan scheduled for me the next day!
Count your many blessings money cannot buy 
1. I had a needle aspiration 2 days after that.
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
1. I had a PET scan 2 weeks after that.

1. 
   
2. Refrain:
3. Count your blessings, name them one by one,
1. Allison went with us to the PET scan.
Count your blessings, see what God has done!

1. Pastor Jamie met us at the hospital and prayed for me.
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
1. The lady at the hospital prayed with us.
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
1. Elicia took us to the surgical biopsy a week later.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
1. She stopped and let me get KFC gravy afterwards (it's kinda like soup)
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
1. 4 days later we had results from the biopsy
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
1. Angels are comforting us while we're waiting the 3 weeks (now 11 days) until they do the surgery
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
1. 7-10 days for surgical approval, nope , 46 hours

1. Refrain:
2. Count your blessings, name them one by one,

1. People have blessed us by giving us some money to take care of unexpected expenses

Count your blessings, see what God has done!

1. People have blessed us by praying for us

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
1. People have blessed us with their time
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
1. This song needs more verses for me to count all my blessings. And that's just the ones related to this bump in the road (this bump in my neck, that's caused by a bump in my tongue, that's caused by a virus)

Surgery isn't here yet. I've had a CT scan. A needle aspiration. A PET scan. A surgical biopsy. I was blessed that when I went to the Nurse Practitioner she took one look at what I just thought was a swollen lymph gland and started all those procedures being done. I've been blessed that we've been able to get to doctor appointments. That we've had people that went with us to keep Yvette company. We've been blessed that we've had someone who could watch the children while we did these things. We've just been blessed beyond belief. And I pray it continues. And I hope when this is over and done, we can go back to BEING the ones who bless others.