Wednesday, January 13, 2021

What A Pain! Part 1.

   A year Ago I would have said I was fairly normal. But I had a problem, that I didn't realize was a problem.

a year ago I would have said I was fairly normal 
   I'm not sure how I feel. Well, that's not exactly true. I feel pain. But not all the time. Just if I stand for like 15 or 20 minutes, sit for 1 ¼ hours, walk or am on my feet for over an hour.     
                                                                      I've been having some issues for a while.  A little nip back in March.   Then I had a baker's cyst that they gave me a shot for. They fussed at me about the NSAIDS I was taking. So I stopped taking them. Well I quit taking the Ibuprofen  But I was feeling pain on a fairly regular basis. Just like 13 or 14 hours every day. 
   I guess the NSAIDS I was taking were working pretty good. I was just taking too many of them. But about a month after I got the shot in my knee for the baker's cyst I went back to my wonderful primary care physician and mentioned that my knee was still hurting and told her what i had been taking to alleviate the pain and she put me on a prescription medicine.
   The absence of the nsaids uncovered a problem though. My feet were numb and my hip was causing me some pain. I had origonally thought the bakers cyst was the cause of the pain in my hip. I went to my PCP. she said it sounded like I had neuropathy. I went to the bone and joint place. and she said I think you have neuropathy. she sent me to Union City where they stuck needle in me and shocked me. and told me I had neuropathy.Then I got sent to Jackson to see a neurologist who poked and prodded me and told me I had bilateral neuropathy. But they want to do some blood tests first.
   I have a follow up appointment scheduled with the bone and joint people. I thought it was about my hip hurting. it wasn't.
   I called the neurologist, they said they had released me to the bone and joint doctor. The bone and joint folk said they had referred me to the neurologist so they weren't concerned about my hip hurting. they said the neurologist was treating me for my neuropathy. 

URGGGHHHHHH!!!! 

   I called my PCP and talked to her, then I visited her, she wrote me a prescription that might help with my neuropathy.

Stay tuned for Part 2'

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Tuesday, August 4, 2020

I Know What You've Been Doing!

   When one of my children was maybe 3 years old, we were in the checkout line at the grocery store.
   He looked at the very pregnant woman standing behind us in line, pointed at her baby bump and said rather loudly, "I know what you've been doing"

   The pregnant lady in line got a little red of face, and I may have also. The lady running the register just kinda looked shocked and disgusted that a child so young would be aware of such 'grown-up' information.
  I apologized for his behavior, then I very calmly and quietly told him that it was rude to point at people and talk about them.
  He said "Okay,  But I know what she's been doing!!!"  Louder and more emphatically. pointing at the ladies stomach again.  Again I apologized to the lady and tried to ignore the look on the cashiers face that looked like she was ready to call child protective services because my child was obviously abused if he knew what a pregnant woman had been doing while I again told him that it was rude to do things like that . . . . . Especially in public. . . . .  And at such a high volume.
  The cashier is giving me death glares as she tells me the total and I pay and get my change. 

  As I start moving away from the checkout stand, having loaded my groceries in the cart, my child once again points at the pregnant woman's belly and says

 "But Daddy, I know what she's been doing. She's been eating Cheetos!"

   I looked at the woman's belly and notice the telltale orange residue from wiping her hands on her shirt. And I started laughing. The cashier looks, and her death glare changes to a look of acknowledgement that my child was right as she starts laughing.
   The pregnant woman looks down at her shirt and tries to brush away the orange residue as she gets redder and starts laughing. She laughed so hard she suddenly stopped and said, "Damnit!"

  I looked at her, apologized again for my son's behavior, and as I walked away I thought:

 " I know what you just did

   To this day, whenever I see a pregnant woman, I think to myself "I know what you've been doing"
   
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Wednesday, July 29, 2020

So Confusing

   So. The Federal Government decided to pass masking decisions to the State Governments.  
   Some of the State Governments made mask mandates and ordinances. 
   Some State Governments passed the decision down to the Local Governments.
   And everything went to hell. 

   A police chief in Arkansas sent a letter to the governor saying he wouldn't enforce the Governor's mask mandate. 
    Some of the Local Governments have made mask mandates and ordinances.
   People where local governments made mandates are claiming that it should be the Governors decision or made at a national level.
   
   I'm gonna tell ya this. I wear a mask when I go in the store. Heck, I wear a mask when I go through the drive-thru at McDonald's.
      Lord, have I learned a lot about masks on the past few months. 
   You may or may not know these facts, but I'm fixing to let you in on what I've learned:
   I've also noticed that some of the people that stated they wouldn't wear a mask unless they were forced to, have the most problems with wearing a mask since it's mandated some places. They have creatively interesting reasons for not wearing masks: my response to each of those arguments is in italics.
1. The virus isn't a bad as they say it is. They're inflating numbers to make it look like more people are infected than really are.
   If they're inflating numbers to make it look like more people are infected, then the numbers of recovered cases will be inflated when their recuperation period has completed.
2. Nobody else is wearing their mask right,
   If everybody else jumps off a bridge, are you going to do it too? Don't be such a sheep (or lemming as the case may be), be a leader and wear your mask right.
3. Wearing a mask violates my constitutional right.  
   The Preamble of the Constitution has a phrase that says the Constitution is to , among other things, promote the general welfare. If wearing a mask can help slow the spread or reduce your viral load (which improves your chances of survival) then wearing a mask is not violating your rights.
4. I don't want to wear a mask and you can't make me. 
   You're an adult, act like one.
5. Masks are uncomfortable.
   Breathing tubes and catheters are uncomfortable. Masks are a minor irritation in comparison.
6. Masks don't prevent the Coronavirus, it says so on the box.
   The company doesn't want people who wear their masks to sue them if they catch the Coronavirus by some other means.
7. OSHA says don't wear masks.
   OSHA says wear masks in contaminated or potentially contaminated environments.
8. The CDC says don't wear masks.
   The CDC has changed that, they do recommend wearing masks.
9. I can't breathe wearing a mask.
   See your doctor about that. You have a medical issue. 
10. I have a medical issue that prevents me from wearing a mask and HIPPA rules prevent me from telling you what it is.
  It's HIPAA and that doesn't apply. I 
11. Masks don't filter anything out.
   A screen is going to catch something when the air passes through it.
12. Masks reduce your oxygen levels.
   So masks can't filter anything out except oxygen? Coronavirus can go right through the mask, but the instant you put one on you start starving your brain for oxygen.
13. Wearing masks is destroying your immune system. 
   Masks that don't filter out anything (#10) actually are filtering out oxygen and germs other than the Coronavirus? It must filter them out, otherwise it wouldn't be destroying our immune systems. 
14. Masks don't keep you from spreading the Coronavirus. Cause they don't filter anything coming out(see #11)
   But the tests they've shown many places show the opposite.
15. Masks cause a buildup of carbon dioxide.
   Wait. Masks let everything that you breathe out go right through the mask(#14). Except carbon dioxide.

   I've heard all these excuses given. The one about HIPPA was offered to me unsolicited at the doctors office. He even spelled it out for me. I corrected his spelling for him and told him it didn't apply. He didn't appreciate it. When he got up to go to the bathroom, his wife apologized for her husband and said he was a dumbass. I suggested that might be considered a disability that would prevent mask wearing.... He wanted to know why she was laughing when he came back.

   The second day our local mask ordinance went into effect I was in Wal-Mart. in front of me was a little white haired lady. There was a guy walking the other direction wearing his mask around his neck. Evidently she looked at him wrong about the way he was wearing his mask. He pointed to the mask around his neck and said loudly to her that he WAS wearing his mask, She sweetly said "I feel sorry for your wife....if you can't wear a mask right, there's probably other things you can't do right."

  
  At that point I violated the mask ordinance. 
   I pulled mine down so I could laugh at him.

Y'all have a good day!
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Wednesday, July 1, 2020

HOW DARE THEY?!?!?!!!!

I can't BELIEVE they'd do this!

THIS is an OUTRAGE!

What about the Children?

   If you don't know what I'm talking about. It's football. The governor has declared that there can be no contact practice until August 29 for High School and Jr High..

   My children don't play football, so I'm not too concerned.
   For those people whose children do play football, I'd like to offer some advice.
   Take your child. Put a mask on them. Put their football clothes on them. Put their football hats on them. Contact 10 of their friends. Those friends should also put on masks and football clothes and football hats. They should get them a football and go to a football field and protest for their right to score football points.
   They should march down the field protestong for their right to score football points!
   But they need to beware. Counterprotesters will show up. Ideally, they will be wearing masks and wearing football clothes and football hats. 
   The counterprotesters will try to keep then from scoring football points. 
   They'll even go so far as to take the ball away.
   This is where it'll get weird.
  The counterprotesters will now be protesting for THEIR right to score football points. And the ones that were protesting will turn into counterprotesters.
   There will then appear some people that will try to mediate the protests. They will probably try to organize the protesters and counterprotesters by the colors of their football clothes.
   Ideally, there needs to be a time limit on the protesting and counterprotesting. 
   I don't know, maybe I'm just being silly. 

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Sunday, June 21, 2020

Happy Father's Day

   I'm not really a father. At least not biologically. According to the papers I am a father.
   But I am a Dad. Not necessarily a good one. I'm sure I do okay, sometimes.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

   But I haven't killed any of them. Yet.
    But I have thought about it. Maybe. A few times.
   When Yvette and I got married almost 21 years ago. I thought I was ready to handle being a Dad. 
   After all this time, I'm starting to think that maybe I'm almost ready to be a Dad. 
   Honestly, I had no idea how much of my life as a parent would be spent having ab-so-freaking-lute-ly no idea what the Heck is going on. 
   I wonder what just happened and if I ask what happened the explanation makes no sense.
   I'm beginning too understand why my dad just nodded. A LOT. There's a LOT of nodding involved in being a dad. That. And umm-hmm. I find myself doing that a lot. It's noncommittal and can't be held against me. Basically, they think I'm agreeing. But I'm really just hoping that whatever I was just asked about isn't illegal, immoral, or liable to cause permanent injury or scarring (either physically or emotionally)
   So this is my 20th Father's Day as a father. 
I like what my kids got me. I didn't get a tie or socks or underwear. I could always use socks and underwear. But I rarely wear a tie.
   I've got these children. I love them. They love me sometimes. Sometimes they don't. I can deal with that. If they always loved me, I'd probably be doing something wrong.
   
   As always:

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Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Totally made up

We send out an intrepid young journalist (IYJ) to interview a person on the street at a protest.

IYJ: how do you feel about #BlackLivesMatter?
Person 1: All Lives Matter.
IYJ:  I guess they do, dont they.
Person 1: yup, sure do
IYJ: I notice your not wearing a mask.
Person 1: yeah, that Coronavirus is all fake anyhow. The government got no right telling people how to live.
IYJ: oh, okay. Does that mean you're pro-choice?
Person 1: hell, no. Planned Parenthood is a buncha murderers. They all oughta be taken out and shot.
IYJ: is that why you are carrying a rifle?"
Person 1: is it's not an automatic weapon. It's a semi automatic. It'll fire 30 rounds, fast as I can pull the trigger. I got 
2 magazine's taped together so I can just flip it over and fire 30 more.
IYJ: So, are you carrying the gun to protect your business?
Person 1: Naw. When I heard they were bussing people in for this protest, I grabbed my gun and my ammo and drove 3 hours to get here.
IYJ: 3 HOURS?
Person 1: yeah, I figured it was my patriotic duty to come stop the looters. You know how those people from out of town cause trouble.
IYJ: 3 hours away.
Person 1: yes. Hey, if they start looting, you better duck. I wouldn't want to shoot you by accident.
IYJ: I'll keep that in mind. 
Person 1: you always had that twitchy thing going on with your face?
IYJ: I think it just started. 
Person 1: you might want to get that checked out, all lives matter
IYJ: uh, yeah.


Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Inconvenience

   That's what this is. Well, sorta. It is inconvenient to travel and get the medical treatment or diagnoses. But it will inform the doctor (and me, it will inform me).
   2 months ago, I was here for a CT scan. And something bothered me. So I said something. And 1 thing got fixed. Now I'm back again. And some of the same things are still bothering me.
   See, that bugs me. It shouldn't, but it does. If they can't spell inconveniece right, can I trust them for their medical diagnosis? 
  In reality, I am aware that the people doing the medical treatment are not the ones responsible for the signage. But they all work for the same folks.
   It's an annoyance. I might be a little OCD. Or maybe I'm a lot OCD. But after I've SEEN something, I can't UN-SEE it. It's like my eyes will be unavoidably drawn to the thing that wasn't right anytime I go near it.
   But I was there for a PET scan. And then they added the annoyance of having misspelled words on their sign.
Grrr.
I am not posting this when I wrote it. I'll post it after I do my other post. So y'all will know what the PET Scan said before you find out about this.
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